Five tips on coping with the death of a loved one, from someone with schizoaffective disorder

 

My Mom Fredi died on September 8, 2025, of kidney disease. She died in hospice because of her choosing to stop receiving treatment for her illness. She could no longer tolerate the treatment used in treating kidney disease. She went in to get her dialysis port fixed for the last time.

I had a feeling my mom was going to pass on. She had pulled away from me in her last days. Our conversations were brief before she died. But one thing remained. One thing we could talk about that brought us together, crafting.

I showed her a needlepoint pouch I made from two samplers of stitches. That's what's in the picture above. We discussed it in hospice. It was bittersweet. She approved of what I made but felt called to worry about me because that is what mothers do. I did not want her to worry about me. But I was worried about my future. What would me and my dad’s life be like without her. I tried not to think the worst. I was on so much medicine I couldn’t. I was strong. Too strong like black coffee on a Saturday night. I barely grieved my mom’s passing. However despite that I found a few things that helped with the grief of losing my Mom.

Five things to help to be exact:

1.       Crafting

2.       Shower

3.       Music

4.       Reading a book

5.       Writing in a journal

 

I recommend that anyone grieving the loss of a loved one to do one of these things or all of these things.

Here is why:

Crafting helps to coordinate your thoughts. A shower helps wake you up, music helps you relax, reading a book helps you learn about new things, writing in a journal helps you get back to why you do things.

I miss my mom daily. I wish I could spend time with her every day. As a medium, I know her spirit is always here. But it’s not the same as having her here in person.

Also, one more note, drinking alcohol does not help with the grief, it just makes things worse, at least for me since I take medicine. I fall asleep. I stare. I do not get anything from it but complications so I recommend not drinking.

Take care,

Jess

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