|Here is a picture I painted in time for my birthday. A landscape I made up in my mind. I painted my heart out on the page with Gouache Paint on Watercolor Paper. "In the Moment"|
As a woman nearing my 40th Birthday on March 28 I think about how far I’ve come and how much farther I need to go in life. I have Bipolar Disorder and am stable. I’ve been on Medication since 2006 and can count on 10 fingers the amount of days I haven’t taken them. So naturally I thought, Hey, maybe I should try dating again. Don’t want to be single for the next 40 years.
A little background here, I haven’t dated in 8 years. The longest I dated a man was 2 weeks. And I’ve kissed men, but have not hooked up once.
I’ve saved myself because I haven’t had many chances to date, at least that’s what I tell myself. Most men my age are married and have children, and have tried to pick me up despite that.
Men at bars and bookstores have picked me up over the years and all those opportunities to date have ended up being absurd and scary.
What are the odds that I would find the guys who don’t have everything they thought they’d get by 40?
So, now that I’ve said that, here are 28 creative ways to deal with disappointment in love.
1. Write your erotic thoughts in your journal.
2. Chat with friends about their love war stories and write something for them.
3. Write about the tears and the ecstasy of longing for someone who you just met.
4. Search the web “what a guy showing you puppy dog eyes means” and let yourself go where you boldly never went before in your erotic writing.
5. Search the web for more body language stuff, like narrowing of the eyes at you. Add that your writing too.
6. Keep in mind how hard it is for a man to keep his stuff inside, well because it’s all outside and write something about how sad that is, but not really an excuse for bad behavior.
7. Think of all the times you met someone and connected with them on a genuine level and then it didn’t pan out cause he was taken and you wouldn’t stand for dating him because of that.
8. Stop going to bars to pick up men. Go to bars to celebrate life on your terms.
9. Stop going to bookstores to meet a nice man. Just because men pick you up at the bookstore, doesn’t mean they don’t have a dirty mind. (The guy I dated for 2 weeks, at least he seemed single.)
10. Take time to work on a project that you’ve always wanted to work on but were afraid to do. It will build your courage.
11. Make a date with yourself to read a book that’s erotic.
12. Make a date with yourself to read a book that is a love story.
13. Read some poetry any chance you get.
14. Take out your ruled journal and write about this stuff cause it will never end as long as you are feeling sexual urges.
15. Paint a picture of a landscape. The act of painting nature is a good release for pent up sexual desires.
16. Stand in the sunlight and know you have worked on yourself to be in an honest relationship.
17. Walk in the rain and know even though there are sad tears there are good tears too.
18. Make time to make love to yourself.
19. Meditate on what you can give to the man out there just for you.
20. Think about saving up money for something that allows you to experience love safely, like a going to the theater and seeing a play.
21. Listen to your favorite female music artist. Chances are they got you covered.
22. Don’t listen to men singing, it will make you cry like a baby whose hungry.
23. Go for a drive along a road that you like to drive on and get some fresh air and perhaps some fresh writing ideas.
24. Go for a walk and listen to the birds. It’s ok to cry and it’s ok to laugh.
25. Type a list of creative ideas to solve something. Pick a number of significance to you to write everything down.
26. Go celebrate with family for your birthday.
27. When you are alone, know you are not alone in disappointment in love.
28. Even though you struck out this time, think about all the chances you have that could be better for you in the moment.
So Ladies, I want to hear from you. I know some of you have been through this with men trying to pick you up when they are married. Do any of the coping methods I've put in my list help you think about ways you can move through and move on from these times? Are there any you know of that I could add to the list?
If you want to see how I've resolved this problem read 1 Tender Tip from Love at Bar Height.